Happy Father’s Day
So I wanted to encourage all the fathers out there on this day set aside to recognize fathers. As a person with no physical children I have always understood the importance of having and being a father. I am a father to so many people who are not physically my own and have never taken this position lightly. Anyone can be a dad but only true men take the responsibility of a father, releasing seed doesn’t make you a father!
I am the product of an absent father and for many years it affected me negatively. I dealt with bitterness, hatred, self-hatred, low self-esteem and image, was ashamed of who I was and resented my father for years. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I dealt with all the unforgiveness in my heart. I came to a conscious reality that it wasn’t my fault that my dad did not want to be a father, and he showed me this himself when I approached him for some answers. He chose not to talk or meet with me and after that day I was clear as to what I needed to do. I bring this up fathers because it is so very vital that we make a conscious choice to be with our kids. They did not ask to be here and we can’t let anyone or anything stop us from being true fathers. I know how it feels to go through issues of rejection and abandonment, and it sucks big time! In an addition to this it affects every aspect of our life when you are missing that part of your life. Even today it has taken many years for me to feel qualified enough to be considered a father because of the lack of a father in my own life. Even when my step dad entered my life the damage had already been done and only God could heal those wounds. I would be lying even If I said it still doesn’t affect me today in some aspects, but not enough for me to lose sight of what I am supposed to do.
Today as we take the time to say job well done to all the fathers who have their own children, to people like myself who have fathered no children but are a major father figure in the lives of many, god fathers, step fathers, grandfathers and fathers of all kinds, I say job well done. To those fathers out there who have found it hard to step up and be the example you need to be in your child’s life I challenge you to do everything to be that father. To anyone reading who wants to be a father make sure you do it right! Plan for being a parent, treat the mother with respect, and honor her, don’t think that baring seed and releasing seed with no purpose is okay. We as men have life inside of us and this should never be taken lightly. As a mentor I talk to young men all the time about the importance of knowing that we are seed carriers. I also make sure to express to them that children are a grave responsibility and you only get one chance to be a father. Finally I don’t care how old this next statement may sound or even how crazy, but I also tell these young men today to abstain until marriage explaining to them how vital it is to honor themselves and the ladies they are with. In addition to this I also explain the spiritual ramification to not committing to these women, and lacking in such honor. I talk to them unapologetically as a man of faith and will never be ashamed of my relationship with God and representing Him.
I encourage all who are able to be that example to fatherless kids today to step up and do so. As an African man I see the lack of fathers manifested in our communities all over the country and it hurts my heart. By no means am I saying African kids are the only ones who lack fathers but I am speaking from the experience of being that kid. No matter where you are or who you are if you have it in your power to be one who can make a difference in a kids life with no dad I challenge you to do so. You may never be their biological father but this example will go a long way. I had two men I my neighborhood growing up who had a huge impact on the man I would become and I am forever grateful. They took the time to teach me how to use tools, be responsible around my house, and many other small intricate things that I live by today. So the way I have paid it forward is to do the exact same thing for others out there who need the support.
Finally I want to encourage all fathers out there young or old to keep doing what you are doing. I know it’s not always easy but we must continue to stand. I also know that there are many situations where fathers may have not been allowed in their kid’s lives for whatever reason but keep doing what’s right and don’t be discouraged. We have to break the cycle of fatherlessness in our society. We have to make sure that our kids are whole and have the best opportunities of making it in life without dealing with fatherless issues. We have to do a better job of supporting others and finally we have to be better at preparing our children for life after us. We can’t continue to enable them by not challenging them in our homes. We can’t let schools which is a godless place, and the social aspect of this life raise our children, that is our job! We can’t continue to handicap our children by not showing them the meaning of good old hard work and earning things for themselves. Lastly we can’t afford to have a generation full of entitled, self-centered, and unrealistic, kids with no critical thinking skills continue to be reproduced. We have a duty and obligation to teach them and lead them by example.
So as you take the time today to be honored as a father or one who should be remember to never take this role lightly and to always strive to be better.
As always have a great day and God bless.
D